Tuesday, October 21, 2008


Dear Adam,

I'm prepared to be incensed. When the elite liberal media report the results on election day, it will most likely skew my decision to vote. Why should I bother going to vote for a candidate if I already know the one I don't want to win won or the one I do want to win won't? Why do they have to report the results before I get my chance to vote?

Can you please stop them?

Voting in the Panhandle.

Dear Pan-voter,

Please don't vote if you're stupid enough to give credence to polling results before you go. If you're watching the news to decide if your vote still matters, if your little piece of democracy for which countless men and women have bled and died is worth less to you than the opinions of Brit Hume, or if you are planning on bringing your Blackberry with you to see if the percentages change when you punch your ballot . . . if you are basing your vote at all on the numbers and color coding reported the day of the election, please don't bother.

Vote a straight ticket. Vote your heart. Vote your conscience. Vote your gut. Vote on instinct. Vote on principle. Vote on name recognition. Vote on dumb random luck. But please don't base your vote on what everyone else is doing. If everyone else jumped off a bridge to nowhere, would you do it . . . hey, dude! You didn't even let me finish the sentence . . . (splash). 

Okay, never mind. One less undecided to worry about. Hey, look . . . the percentages did go down! Huh. Who knew?

Approving messages daily,