Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Customer Service Departments

Dear Adam,

I noticed strange characters appearing in speech bubbles above your head. You know, the ones that appear when you hold down the shift key and push numbers: !@#$%. What gives? Is there anything I can do to improve your experience?

CS Agents, Everywhere

Dear CSAEs,

I'm sorry you misinterpreted my actions. Muttering under my breath is my way of saying, "Thank you," for acting like you were doing me a favor just by coming out to the actual customer service desk. It's my way of saying, "Nicely put," because I'm just so impressed with the witty repartee you've got going with your friend on the phone. Muffled curses are how I express my appreciation for trying to sell me every service your company offers while I'm trying to cancel the one lousy service I actually agreed to pay for in the first place. All of that is awesome. Normal letters don't capture my admiration for your knowledge of neither your company's products nor the English language. Only *&$^# can adequately state how valued I feel by the phone connection that is intelligible only when the world's cheesiest on-hold music is playing. I can't tell you how much I hate being treated like a human being; you never let me down.

So, my advice to you? Since you asked (not), just keep doing what you're doing . . . and enjoy Circle 5.

1 comment:

The Bare's said...

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